Is it customary in Igbo culture to kneel before proposing marriage to a woman?
*The Abia monarch said, “It is un-Igbo, not right at all.”
*Anambra monarch: *Very bad, not part of Igbo tradition;
*Traditional prime minister:
*Not acceptable, Igbo culture forbids that;
*No, it’s a perversion of Igbo culture — Octogenarian
Is it customary in Igbo culture to kneel before proposing marriage to a woman?
*It denotes complete submission to the woman – Nwikpe
The appropriateness of a man kneeling down to propose marriage to a lady has been the subject of intense discussion among Nigerians. Opinions on the matter have varied widely. SEV discussed this with a few Igbo leaders.
An Abi monarch once said, “It is not Igbo for a man to kneel to propose to a lady.”
The tradition is peculiar and un-Igbo, according to Eze Linus Nto, Chairman of the Abia State Traditional Rulers Council. He called it an aberration and an encroachment on the highly esteemed Igbo customs.
He clarified that the appropriate course of action is for the guy to go with “a go-between” to the home of the woman he plans to marry in order to inform her and her family of his decision.
Eze Nto insisted that the custom is a reversal of Igbo custom, in which a woman kneels in front of her people to reveal her husband.
It is not customary for a guy to stoop down and ask a woman to marry him in Igbo country. This is extremely odd and needs to be put to an end. The girl is demonstrating to her people who her spouse is while kneeling instead of standing.
The king suggested that our young people be continuously educated about the customs and heritage of the Igbo people in order to prevent its mutilation.
He exhorted the Igbo people to fiercely oppose the appropriation of foreign culture and customs for their own.
Eze Obosi: “It is incorrect and not a part of Igbo tradition and culture.”
Additionally, Igwe Chidubem Iweka (Eze Iweka III), the traditional ruler of Obosi in Idemili North Council, Anambra State, declared that it is extremely improper for an Igbo man to stoop down and propose to the woman he wishes to marry.
He referred to the custom as one of the Western civilizations that Ndigbo, Nigeria, and the African continent as a whole do not deserve to adopt.
The monarch argues that if a man is truly given the title of head of the family, he should not give that title away by bending down to ask the girl to marry him at the beginning of their marriage.
When evaluated against the esteemed Igbo culture and tradition, Eze Iweka declared, “On no account should we practice that aspect of western culture because I see it as a deceit and an unwholesome practice.”
It is forbidden by Igbo culture for an Ibeku traditional prime minister to
High Chief Uche Akwukwuegbu (BAWAS), the traditional prime minister of the Ibeku Ancient Kingdom, stated that Igbo culture bans such a conduct for whatsoever cause. He added that it is only cosmetic to kneel in public to ask a woman to marry him because some of these unions end in divorce.
It’s not how we do things. It is improper for a man to bow down to a woman in order to propose marriage. Kneeling before a woman is an abomination and is not in line with our traditions.
“It’s superficial to kneel down and ask a woman to marry you. Marriage need to be sincere and emotional. The Bible itself does not advocate for a man to bow down to a woman. Instead, it stated that wives ought to obey their husbands.
He also suggested ongoing cultural awareness as a way to discourage the younger Igbo generation from adopting such bizarre customs.
Igbo culture is peculiar, according to Prof. Eneje
Professor Lawrence Eneje, an academic, denounced it, claiming that Igbo tradition forbids a man from kneeling before a lady to propose marriage. He did point out that Ndigbo do not have a specific method for asking a woman to marry them.
It is not customary in our society to approach a woman on her knees and ask her to marry you. Though there isn’t a set method for proposing among the Ndigbo, you can still do it if you and the woman agree. However, he remarked, “Kneeling down is bad because Igbo tradition and culture place men over women.”
It denotes complete submission to the woman –Nwikpe
According to Joshua Nnabuike Nwikpe, it is an adopted culture that is detrimental to Igbo customs and culture.
“These days, dating before marriage is what got us to this point. There was no dating back then; instead, there were traditional methods of proposing to a woman and getting married. It is wrong because it equates to making a woman your slave by yielding your authority as a male to her.
It’s akin to telling a woman to possess me and utilize me for any purpose; feel free to kick me like a football. Because they are women, they will always wait for the right moment to present itself. When it does, they seize it and make the most of it to make their husbands look bad. Because of this, a woman in a modern marriage wakes up one morning and declares that the marriage is finished, according to Nwikpe.
Octogenarian: It’s a distortion of Igbo culture.
Chief Ikechukwu Onyekwere, an octogenarian from Imo State, called the practice strange and a perversion of Igbo customs and culture. “Why would you approach a woman in public and bow down to ask her if she would marry you? The Igbo custom of being married is incredibly honorable. The appropriate course of action for an Igbo man to inform a woman he wishes to marry is to approach her gently, without having to bend over.
If the lady says yes, she has to tell her parents, who will ask her the right questions and then advise her to ask the man to formally announce his intention. The Igbo refer to this as “Iku aka n’uzo” (introduction). When a date is set, the man sets off on the voyage with his relatives, adhering to customs, and then they wait for the woman’s parents to give their official assent.
To be from Igbo culture is foreign – Okonkwo
Expert in Igbo marriage customs and traditions, Chief Nnamdi Okonkwo is a community leader in Amiyi, Ogbaru Local Government Area, Anambra State. He adds that there are traditional ways to propose to a woman in Igbo country, and bowing down to do so is absolutely not one of them.
“At no point does the man kneel down for his proposed wife,” he declared. Instead, during the wine-carrying ceremony, it is the woman who bows down to serve her husband the customary wine. In Igbo country, a man bowing down to ask a woman to marry him has no place.
There have also been cases where a man has bent down to propose to a woman, but the marriage had not yet happened. It makes no difference what the intended couple did before the legal ceremony; marriage is a connection between families and communities.
Igbo customs prohibit it, according to Abia Community leader
Chief Chukwuemeka Ogbugo, a community leader of the Ogbor Ancient village in the Aba North Council Area, concurred that the practice is against Igbo culture. The man shouldn’t do anything that could make him less of the leader of the household.
“Igbo tradition hasn’t changed on issues of marriage and won’t change despite some people’s efforts to abandon it in favor of foreign culture,” he stated. No matter the status of the woman, it is abhorrent for a man to stoop and offer marriage to her. Man is the head of the family in the traditional Igbo family structure, and he shouldn’t do anything that could make him appear weak. The Bible itself affirms that men should be the heads of their families.
“It is not an issue of love; kneeling to propose marriage to a woman signifies the male has given up his God-given position to the lady. It is important to honor tradition. To propose marriage to a woman on one’s knees is not customary in Igbo culture.
